I recently shared some of the content in this post with my youth before Valentine’s Day: Ever been stood up for a date? I have. It is one of the worst feelings known to man. A double-minded man (or woman) is unstable in all his (or her) ways. If someone tells you, “Yes, I’ll be there” or “Yes, I’ll do that,” you expect that someone to be a person of their word. I know the hand-shake and “word is your bond” is all but gone in our society, but right is still right and wrong is still wrong.
Whenever you make a decision, you must first decide what decision you are going to make. In other words, you must weigh the options, analyze the pros and cons of all decisions on the table, and most importantly, pray about the decision you are making. Joining a D-Group or following Jesus is a huge decision. Your students are not just agreeing to meet with you for a year. They are agreeing to start their own D-Group after your year’s worth of meetings. Your students are agreeing to be discipled and to be a disciple-maker! Jesus had something to say on the matter (Luke 14:25-34). First, count the costs and then make the decision (in this case, surrender to His will).
When asked to do something, it’s ok to say no. Make sure your students know this. However, it’s not ok to say yes and then say no (Matt. 5:37). I recently worked seven days in a row without a day off. A couple of weeks before my loaded work week, a person had asked me to attend his event. I told the person I would be at his event. The problem was the person’s event was on my eighth day without rest. I didn’t want to go and didn’t feel like going, but I went because I said I would be there. In other words, I was committed. Discipleship works the same way. When you offer students an opportunity to join your D-Group, it is ok if they say no. But if or when a student quits a D-Group they committed to, the team is affected for the worse. This is why D-Groups often sign a group covenant before they begin. I have adapted Robby Gallaty’s adult D-Group Covenant into a Student D-Group Covenant below:
DISCIPLESHIP COVENANT
I will commit to the following expectations:
I pledge myself fully to the Lord with the anticipation that I am entering a time of accelerated spiritual transformation.
I will meet with my D-Group for approximately one hour every week, unless providentially hindered.
I will complete all assignments on a weekly basis before my D-Group meeting, in order to contribute to the discussion.
I will contribute to an atmosphere of confidentiality, honesty, and transparency for the edification of others in the group as well as my own spiritual growth.
I will pray every week for other students who are on the discipleship journey with me.
I will begin praying about replicating the discipleship process upon completion of this group.
Signed Mentee ______________________________________
Signed Mentor ______________________________________
Date _____________________________
I would give a copy of this covenant to the youth’s parent/guardian(s) so that they know what their student is committing to and what they can be praying about/for.
If you have committed to lead a Student D-Group (and are using my M.A.P.’s Journal), here are some more tips for leading (also read this previous post). First, studying the week’s selected passage using an ESV or CSB study bible is not a bad idea. Your job is not to lecture students (they don’t need or want another bible study), but to facilitate and guide D-Group discussion. However, giving an overview of the passage for the first five minutes is perfectly acceptable.
A friend of mine recently began using MAPS with his student group and says he and his students are loving it. My friend has found this discipleship resource to be practical and direct. Remember, MAPS was designed to be simple and flexible, giving the D-Group leader much freedom in adapting each lesson to meet his or her student’s needs. My friend has adapted the 4 W’s (Who, What, When, Where) into his weekly D-Group meeting. He has his students name who they need to reach out to, what they are going to do, and finally when and where they are going reach out, (i.e., take someone out to ice cream or strike up a conversation in the local gym). Students may not be ready to share the full-out gospel, but any student can take these first steps! Give your students a weekly assignment they are comfortable with and follow up each week.
My last tip for Student D-Group leaders is to teach your students to pray. Like growth in evangelism mentioned above, growing in prayer takes time too. Maybe your students are not ready to pray out loud for every student in their D-Group just yet (It’s awesome hearing yourself prayed for by 3-4 others in your D-Group). Start them out with something simpler such as the ACTS acronym (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). Perhaps you give your student the outside assignment of asking a believer/unbeliever if that person has anything they can pray for them about. Once your D-Group students have learned to pray for each other’s needs out loud, it is great if prayer takes up 20 minutes of your meeting!
If you need more information or tips on leading D-Groups in general, click here.
Just make sure you’re all-in before you begin!