Church, we must reach and we must strengthen the family unit. Lately, I have been doing a lot of praying and head-scratching, trying to figure out why it appears the traditional church is dying. I live in a rural area and have always been a small church guy (having worked on staff in multiple small churches). I have nothing against the mid-size, large or megachurch congregations, having attended these as well. But as I look around my surroundings and notice a multitude of small traditional churches, I notice a “graying” in church attendance without the balance of other hair colors (think families) in the crowd.
The majority of churches are small, under 100 in attendance, and represent the backbone of the American church. In remarking on “five reasons why churches are dying and declining faster today,” Thom Rainer comments on five points: (1) Cultural Christianity is declining rapidly (2) The exit of the Builder generation (3) Migration from rural areas and small towns to the cities (4) Faster church transfers, and (5) Slow response to change as change accelerates all around us. I feel the third and fifth points are most important. Rainer states that “in 1790, only 5% of Americans lived in cites. Today over 80% of Americans are city dwellers.”
Thus, one reason small traditional churches do not have many young people in them is that there are less families and young adults to go around than in years past. However, I would say and Rainer would agree that there are a multitude of unchurched adults and families in any given area that the church is just not doing a good job of reaching. I think the fifth point Rainer makes goes without saying and is a significant reason why the traditional church (big or small) is found struggling. In this digital age, the reality time gap will only increase for those dying churches who refuse to change. For these type of churches, it’s just a matter of time.
I do think there is hope for the small church. For example, my church’s problem is not with Rainer’s point number five. My church is actually a church that acts like it is living in the year 2016! Still, my church is not reaching as many young adults and families as it should. Preaching styles and worship styles often can and should be tweaked, but I do not feel a church’s preferred style is the primary reason young adults or families stay away from church. Attitudes and judgments from church members can play a role, but I do not feel that this represents the core issue. I think that the distractions and busyness of life, relational division (social media causes or not), and pleasure-seeking have taken over primary concern in family/young adult lives.
What is the church to do? Just sit back and watch everyone become a gray-head until the church dies? I think not! The Bible gives us a solution and I will give you the prescription soon enough. Know beforehand our answers do not come from the latest seminars, conferences, or how-to method. Our answers have been tried and true, tested and approved by God himself. There are many megachurches winning families and young adults to Christ by the droves. However, about as many are making disciples a mile wide but an inch deep (there are some exceptions). In fact, Rainer notes that healthy churches have members not only in community but have members who read their Bible and pray daily (hint, hint).
Prescription: Acts 2:42 – “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” v. 47b – “And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” The key word in the prescription is devoted, a word I feel the church often ignores to its own peril. Have we really devoted ourselves to the Word of God (in public and in private), to being in community (how real are we in sharing our weaknesses and faults with one another), to the breaking of bread (is this just a ceremonial rite or is this a transformative experience), and to prayer (many members are scared to pray aloud-this would not be as big of a concern if we were devoted to the practice of prayer). And are we waiting upon the Lord? It wasn’t man’s method or ingenuity that led to the church’s growth. It was the Lord who added to the church’s number.
A friend of mine, noting from Genesis that God made the home before he created the church, once said that as the family goes, so goes the church, and as the church goes so goes our nation. Stanley Hauerwas notes “that a stable family structure contributes to stable societies through community.” To keep families in church (and hence to keep the church alive), we must strengthen the home (the relationship between parents and children) and to reach families out of church, we must meet families where they are (remember, families don’t look like what they used to). More than keeping and reaching families, Acts 2:42-47 speaks of the church as being a family and even sharing their belongings with one another. There is no better metaphor for who the church is to be and how the church is to grow. I can still remember singing “The Family of God” chorus every time my small church would add a member, but now I wonder why we left out the stanzas between the chorus:
You will notice we say ‘brother and sister’ round here, It’s because we’re a family and these are so near; When one has a heartache, we all share the tears, And rejoice in each victory in this family so dear.
From the door of an orphanage to the house of the King, No longer an outcast, a new song I sing; From rags unto riches, from the weak to the strong, I’m not worthy to be here, but praise God I belong!