In Bible times, it was normal to define older men/women and younger men/women in one or two different ways: (1) Older men/women were above the age of 40 and younger men/women were under the age of 40, or (2) Older men/women were above the age of 60 and younger men/women were above the age of 12. Expectations by God of older and younger men/women were very similar (see Titus 2).
What if we, however, took the first definition and just made all the generations we have today either fit into one generation (those above the age of 40) or the other (those below the age of 40). In that line of thought, I have often wondered, “What would you then call the generation that comes before the next generation?” Though they are older and some may even be approaching death, I think it rude to call the preceding generation the “last generation.” Though they are wiser, “mature generation” just doesn’t sound right either. Though seniors shouldn’t be offended by the word “older” (the Bible considers old age a badge of honor), some are and might not like being called the “older generation” or the “senior generation.”
It is at this point that the words of Jesus enter my mine. I think of when Jesus talked about how the first would be last and the last would be first (Matthew 19:30). I know Jesus was talking about how service and discipleship related to the Kingdom in this verse and not how the generational gap could be bridged. But, there is a principle I have gleaned from Jesus’ statement that helps me answer the above question.
Things usually work backwards in life. Parents often raise their kids in young age only to turn around and have their kids take care of them in their old age. In this way, the last becomes first. When the next generation serves and takes care of those who came before them, they are being Christ-like. When both generations put the other before themselves, the first become last and the last become first. If we live the way Christ told us to, there really is no need for a generational war! Next generation, why not honor the oldest generation by calling them the first or best generation?
My friends from GenOn ministries recently gave me some great advice and ideas for intergenerational ministry. They told me that it is not how the first generation talks to the next generation or even how the next generation talks with the first generation. What it is about is in asking the right questions and having all voices at the table be heard and respected.
With my church’s homecoming coming up, GenOn provided me with a wonderful list of questions that the first generation can ask the next generation. I have since talked with both generations! I asked the first generation to be intentional about approaching the next generation whether that’s by walking up to or sitting down with the next generation. I asked the next generation that when approached by the first generation, they should not run or say hi and bye (one-word answers).
Here’s the list I want to lay down on each table at my church’s homecoming for generational conversations to begin:
- What is your name?
- What grade are you in?
- Do you play sports and if so, what sports do you play?
- Are you involved in band or drama at school?
- Did you go on any fun vacations or trips this past Summer?
- What are some of your favorite things to do?
- What is school like (Tell them how school was for you)?
- What do you like or love about our church?
- What is a lesson you have learned at church and how does this lesson help you in your life?
- What would you say to someone about why you attend this church?
- What might your role at Mt. Carmel be in the future?
- What are some ways you connect with God?
- What are some highs and lows in your life that I can be praying about?
- How can I pray for you this week?
- What could our church do better at?
- What is your favorite hymn/praise song?
- Are there any other church songs that speak to you?
- What music style do you connect with?
Keep in mind that what we have done for so long in church is multi-generational ministry, not intergenerational ministry. For too long, we have sat generations together in a room and asked for no interaction between the generations. Generations come and go to church without ever talking to or acknowledging one another. Intergenerational ministry doesn’t work like that! We need both formal and informal experiences where intentional and spontaneous ministry between the generations can take place.
So often, we let education or worship wars divide our generations and our churches. I’m not even talking about the technological gap. It shouldn’t matter if a younger man/woman wants to attend small group in a house instead of Sunday school in a church or if an older man/woman prefers the opposite. What should matter is that both are ministering and being ministered to!
Why do we make such a big deal about worship? Here is how I answered the last three questions on the list: “I can’t say that I have a favorite hymn/praise song. I do like both and my church does both. I don’t like dead worship. When God is being worshipped in spirit and in truth, that is live worship and you feel Him. I think the worship pastor/praise band is instrumental because no matter what he or she/they sing, who they are takes precedence. They may not sing my style of preference but their worship of God is evident and inspires me to worship. So worship goes beyond words. Our worship pastor has led worship for nineteen years and hasn’t got paid a dime. When he leads worship, I know he is truly leading out of his love for Jesus.”